The quote “All I need to know I learned in kindergarten” is so true. Well, mostly true. We learn life skills later in life, but one of the most critical skills we need to succeed is social skills and those skills we learned during our young and formative years.
The book What does everybody else know that I don’t? is a guidebook for adult social skills. Since social competence is the primary determiner of adult success, this book will be invaluable to anyone with ADHD challenged in this arena.
Some traits of ADHD that get in the way of good social skills are:
Impulsivity: Acting without thinking. Impulsivity can manifest in many different ways, but in social settings, it can mean doing what one wants, when one wants, without regard to others’ thoughts, feelings, or desired actions.
Emotional dysregulation: Experiencing emotions so profoundly that one becomes overwhelmed. The overwhelm of emotions, either pleasant or unpleasant, can lead to impulsive behaviors that one may later regret.
Lack of focus: Being easily distracted. Lack of focus can be manifested by overlooking details (like someone’s birthday) and not paying attention to others in conversation.
Disorganization: Not finding what you need, when you need to find it. Individuals with ADHD may borrow things from others expecting to return them promptly, then lose track of them completely, resulting in hard feelings and resentment.
Lack of time management: Not doing what needs to be done, when it needs to be done. Much like disorganization, lack of time management can result in hard feelings when tasks are not done on time or when one shows up late for events (like picking up the kids).
So what does this book have to offer?
Dr. Novotni takes us through the highlights of challenging social skills:
- What are social skills, and why are they important?
- What does ADHD have to do with it?
- Helping individuals with ADHD discover what social skills may be lacking and how to improve them.
The book is straightforward to read, providing information via education, stories, and illustrations, while offering practice exercises, tips, and resources. The book also a social skills rating chart for personal insight.
The Psychology Today social skills test may offer insight into how socially aware you are and how the information provided in What does everybody else know that I don’t? will help you.
Remember, social competence is the primary determiner of adult success. The information in this book may help you build the bridge to a brighter future.
Cindy Jobs
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