Family. Peace. Self-worth. | Cindy Jobs

Have you ever sat in the decision-making space and wondered how to know the right decision to make?

Knowing your Needs and Values may very well help you with those tough decisions.

Let me tell you a personal story:

Years ago, while the majority of my work was in the hands-on Productivity and Organizing space, I decided to expand my business around our weekend (and ultimately retirement) community. I knew success would mean some sacrifice. I would need to occasionally work weekends and possibly spend one week a month away from home. Still, I genuinely felt this was going to be one secret to my future success.

I worked on creating a client community for months. I joined the Chamber, participated in the Friday Coffee Chats, and presented at meetings. I formed a partnership with the local newspaper. I went to networking events. I talked to anyone that would listen. The paper ran a feature story on me and my business, yet nothing seemed to work. Something was blocking me.

Below are my Needs and Values. Can you see the block?

Needs: Family, Peace, and Self-Worth.

Values: Honesty, Loyalty, and Affection.

For me to be successful, I would be in direct conflict with Family, Peace, Loyalty, and Affection. Being successful would mean spending time away from my Family; it would create a bit of time chaos resulting in lack of Peace; Loyalty to my family would be taking a back seat to client loyalty; the physical separation would conflict with showing daily Affection to my family.

What I finally realized was that subconsciously I didn’t want my business to be successful. The sacrifices were too much in conflict with my Needs and Values.

When I gave up on that part of my business growth (when one door closes), space opened up for me to devote more time to my ADHD coaching business (another door opens). Coaching has no geographic ties, can easily be done while working around my family commitments, and, frankly, provides a greater sense of Self-Worth. Yes, I offer great value to my hands-on Productivity and Organizing clients. Still, I believe I’m helping my coaching clients to change their lives on a grander and longer-lasting scale. Coaching requires me to challenge my clients to revisit long-standing beliefs about themselves and their actions, which is in direct support of my value of Honesty.

Here are some other Needs and Values conflicts I’ve seen come up:

Volunteering for extra shifts when Family is a Need.
Carrying the burden of resentment when Forgiveness is a Value.
Spending more time watching sitcoms than reading when Knowledge is a Value.

What might change in your life if you aligned your actions with your Needs and Values? I encourage you to try the exercise and see how it lands with you. Pick three to four Needs and three to four Values. Do your actions align with them? What can you change if they don’t?

NEEDS:			VALUES:
Personal Priorities and Principles			Personal Qualities and Passions
Achievement			Accountability
Adventure			Affection
Aesthetic			Autonomy
Community			Competency
Equality			Courage
Fame			Courtesy
Family			Creativity
Fellowship			Discipline
Freedom			Drive
Happiness			Fairness
Health			Flexibility
Love			Forgiveness
Nature			Honesty
Peace			Humor
Pleasure			Knowledge
Power			Loyalty
Self-Worth			Obedience
Service			Order
Spirituality			Reason
Wealth			Service
Wisdom			Tolerance
©2011 Mary Donovan and Coach Approach for Organizers. Permission to use and/or adapt granted to graduates of the Coach Approach program