How do they make you feel?

Cindy JobsUncategorized

In case you missed it, Valentine’s Day was last week.

(As Ellen said, if you didn’t know it was Valentine’s Day “you are either single or soon to be.”)

For some people, Valentine’s Day is one of the most pressure-packed holidays of the year. Whether we are in long-term or new relationships, there can be a host of feelings and emotions that come along analyzing what each of our relationships means to us and how the people in them make us feel.

When you think about your relationships, do they make you feel:

Loved?                                                          Scared?

Respected?                                                  Belittled?

Heard?                                                          Ignored?

Seen?                                                             Invisible?

Respected?                                                  Dismissed?

Understood?                                                Sad?

Appreciated?                                               Worthless?

Understood?                                                Undervalued?

Connected?                                                  Worried?

Encouraged?                                               Incompetent?

Do your relationships have more items familiar with the first or second column?  If you answered the second column, it may be time to let the relationship go.

My personal litmus test:  How do I feel after a conversation with this person?   Better?  The Same? Worse?

Many people stay in relationships long past when we should, but we just don’t know how to let go.  Whether the relationship is romantic, platonic or familial, letting go can be a challenge.

How do you know when it’s time to let a relationship go? Psychology Today has some great advice.   Once you’ve made the decision, here are some keys to letting go:

  • Accept that it’s toxic.
  • Don’t blame yourself.
  • Cut off contact.
  • Find closure.
  • Use your support system.

“Losing will not always amount to a loss, sometimes you have to lose those toxic relationships and bad habits to create a space for better things.” – Gift Gugu Mona


Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

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